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Advice on succeeding in your search for a Russian wife. How long time usually takes correspondence? Is it possible to find in Russia a lady who is interested in Christian morality? Are women there really this sweet? |
Russian women FAQ, part 2 |
In Russia medical doctors are allowed to practice right after the college, and it takes only 4-5 years to study, so started in 16-17 after graduating from a school, a lady is likely to be a practical physician in 22. As medical aid is free in Russia, doctors are paid almost nothing (read more about it in "Russians" section) and even this nothing is paid months later. It's very easy to become a practical doctor in Russia, it's very low paid and required hard work position. Many women leave medicine to work in, for example, sales, only because they don't have enough money to feed their families. It's also no problem to receive good education as economist, accountant or computer programmer. Education is quite affordable; and if you have good knowledge of the subjects, you can even get it for free. Women who try to find a partner outside Russia are usually better educated and intelligent enough to start this adventure. As Russians rarely relocate, and normally live the whole life in the same city and even in the same flat, a lady must be brave enough to consider finding a foreign husband as an option. I know women who are PhD in 25! And have to look for husbands abroad... In Russia the situation with children is a bit different. Not to say that they don't love their children, probably just love them not enough. Children are always staying with their mother after divorce and never with fathers. Children are considered to be a burden. Fathers often run away from paying maintenance, and use tricks like having two jobs and paying maintenance from the lowest paid one (in Russia maintenance is paid as per cent of salary). Fathers are rarely involved in upbringing their children from a previous marriage. They do not see them, not because women don't allow but because they don't want to. ; A woman with a child is very lucky to get married the second time. Men do not want to take responsibility about somebody else's child. So I assume if a woman is looking for a life partner abroad, the father of her child does not care. If you are interested in REAL Russian women, you must accept that they will not respond your letters promptly, even if you forward them; they speak poor English; they don't really know what they want; they are too shy to express their feelings, and many will prefer corresponding via regular mail. Very seldom a real Russian woman has everyday access to email, and even then, they delay answering letters. If a woman does not have everyday access to email, a letter by mail can reach her before she finds time to check her mail box in Internet cafe (normally women do it once per 10-15 days). If you rush, you will all the time pick up gold diggers. I want to do everything right from the very beginning, and I want to write the right letter of introduction. Any advice? You must be clear and precise about the things, and avoid being too general. Discussing your opinions about family life is important, but do not forget to supply a lady with all important information she is looking for. If you own a house, tell about it. If you own some businesses, tell about it. If you live in a small town, tell about the town and what life there is look like. Tell about the climate and which entertainment are close by. Try to tell about the things not like you number them, but from your own personal experience. For example, "I own 3 bedroom house" will sound better if you say "I like my house; it's cozy and comfortable, and there is enough space for visitors - 3 bedrooms, if somebody of your family wants to visit us one day." You've got the idea? Don't just tell about the things but give your personal emotional assessments, all women ARE emotional by nature. Say that you are serious, if you are going to visit Russia one day, what kind of life she will live if comes to the country as your wife. You probably think it's dull things and it goes without saying; NO, you MUST mention it. You must not try to look too good. Women like strong, powerful men, who are not easy to handle, but will appreciate if it's only SHE who can do it. Women in general don't like men who are nobody's target.; Check your spelling when send letters to girls. If your letter is full of spelling mistakes, it looks messy. Just use the option Tools from your word processor. More about it in the part Your First Letter. It depends on the couple, but usually couples meet after exchanging 5-15 letters. If you correspond via email, it will take much faster. The aim of correspondence is not to do it for a definite period of time but to know each other better. You can write only 1 letter but if you talk to each other few times by phone, you will have often more information about another person than if you have been corresponding for years. I know cases when a couple met in 1 month time, and fell hopelessly in love with each other; and when two were successfully corresponding for 2,5 years and were deeply disappointed by personal meeting. As a rule, as soon as you feel that the other person is the right partner, go and see your pen pal. If you hesitate, you may happen to be too late. Because of the same reason you cannot start your search for Russian wife 2 years in advance, you will just waste your time. You must be able at least to find a week to visit your virtual girlfriend when you have decided she is the right one. My opinion is that 25 years difference is too much, but I also know the cases when it worked. Ask the girls themselves, why not? Tell them exactly what you told me, and listen to answers. It's for sure that your financial stability has a distinctive impact. Women live nearly in poverty in their native country, and they want to make sure that to all problems with relocation they won't have another one with everyday surviving. A woman must be confident that you will be able to provide for the whole family, and she wants her children to raise in happy and stable atmosphere. So your financial circumstances help, but no one will be attracted to a stupid and arrogant person; women always take your personality in consideration. Nevertheless, as a rule you should avoid too young candidates. The thing about responds - many ladies check their mail boxes occasionally, once a week or two. The responds will come. If a lady gave you her postal address, you can write to this address, sometimes you can get respond faster than via email. The best remedy from unrequited letters - send another one, saying that you sent her a letter a while ago and now are worrying why she does not respond. Yes, it's that simple. Tell her that you are REALLY interested in her, and would like to hear from her. Ask her to respond if she is not interested, just to let you know. Tell her that you every day check your mail box to see if there is a respond from her. Russian women are very insecure about themselves. The question I am asked the most "Can I really find a man who will be interested in me?". The usual fear is "I can't believe that this intelligent kind man is really interested in me." The other thing: Russian women do NOT respond promptly. She can answer a letter in 2 weeks time, and even don't think it's too late. If you have a lady's postal address, ALWAYS send a letter by mail when send email message (at least, in the very beginning when you don't know each other well). You must not tell too much about your religious views. Say that Christian values are very important for you but do not go in depth. Ladies do appreciate Christian moral values, they just cannot follow them in everyday life because of objective reasons. A Russian woman will accept her husband life-style, just don't try to do it from the very beginning of your new relationship. Life in Russia is completely different. It's so bad that one hardly can believe in God and that such a mess could have been created according his will. A woman will change her attitude on the West, and will accept Christian moral values with pleasure and devotion. Yes, Russian women are giving. They usually take care of their husbands like they do of babies, if you can understand what I mean. Russian men are used to be cared of; and don't really value it, for them it goes without saying. For example, if you visit a guy at his home, he will expect you to wash the dishes, and even cook a dinner for you two. So if you are willing to take care of her, she will do her best to make you happy. Yes, it's true that the most desirable women are available only for a while. Though sometimes it happens that a lady is not happy with her initial choice, and had to hunt for a partner again. I have a few stories from ladies who refused to many candidates to just discover that the man they chose was not the one-and-only. Also some ladies said that their correspondents decided to meet another woman, and left them high and dry. All were very beautiful and intelligent ladies. So, as you see, you must act fast, as even if a lady is not engaged or married, she may already stop accepting new candidates. You must be able to attract her attention in the moment when she has just started her search. Even if a woman corresponds with a few men (as it usually happens), she always has a favorite. A favorite may change from time to time. The favorite attracts the most attention and feelings. What can make one a favorite? At first, it's man's personal qualities, financial situation and appearance, but on a later stage it's how he represents himself and how he feels about the woman (and how he shows his feelings). Women in Russia feel very insecure, and will appreciate more the candidate, who gives them his full attention. I have been successfully corresponding with a nice lady from one of the local agencies. But I wonder how can I get rid of black thoughts. I have no idea if my lady exists at all. She could be a model. The "agency" could be some old man writing love letters to silly old American men like me. How does anyone know? Ask your lady to talk to you by phone. I understand you hate being suspicious, me too, but it will help you to get rid of black thoughts. A Foreign Affair offers the service of conference calls with translation for about $5 or so for minute. Ask a lady if you can talk to her by phone, and if she has no one at home, which is quite possible, ask her to arrange it through friends. Also, send a letter via registered mail or Russian courier service EMS GarantPost. Russian postal services require an addressee to have a valid identification, and do not leave letters to neighbors or relatives as other courier services like FedEx or DHL do. Another advice from Anatoly Neverov, one of Russian matchmakers - send your lady flowers. Usually gift delivering services offer to make a photo of your lady with a gift. You won't become a victim of Russian mafia as long as you don't carry thousands of dollars in your pocket. Actually, neither Russian mafia nor government are concerned about foreign tourists. It's completely safe to walk in the cities. Make all your purchases and exchange currency only in official places and never use "help" offered by the people you hardly know. How one can find his way in Russia if he does not speak the language? It's possible to find your way in Russia if you get lost. I know quite a few people who did not speak a word of Russian, and traveled around the country on their own. When you get lost, you will have to ask probably a few people about your way, but eventually you will find somebody who can speak English. Russians are very helpful, and will be glad to assist you. When you feel you have found your one and only, do not postpone visiting your lady; the sooner, the better. Find out from her how she feels about you. Ask to remove your data from catalogues, if she says that she feels strong towards you. Be open with her. Say that you received plenty of letters (I guess so), but you liked only her, and said to other girls "Thank you". She can always check, and she will see that you are serious. Even if you cannot go to Russia soon, tell her she is the one and only. Say her you don't want to look further, and you could not dream about better luck. Women in Russia feel very insecure (I guess, I talk too often about it), and it's why they correspond with a few guys. Usually the first one who visits a girl will get her. She does not know nor you neither other guys that well, so she just choose a few who basically meet her requirements. Even if she feels very strong for you she may still be in correspondence with other guys. Some girls (very nice girls) said me that they stopped corresponding with other guys and asked agencies remove their data, and then a guy said "Sorry, I found a fiancйe in USA" or that he decided to see another girl. It happens! Imagine how a lady may feel. |
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